While Annabelle is On a Tour Bus Without Boys

Dear Annabelle,

It’s Tuesday. I hope your bus doesn’t break down for four hours. I hope you have air conditioning. I hope you have plenty of ice and that you practice your synchronized swimming routine on the way there.

            I only watched ¾ of our favorite movie before I couldn’t handle any more without you. I went for a hike this morning and scouted out flat, paved trails where we can have bike gang hangouts. I don’t know about your bike, but Gladys (yes, I named her after a bike in a book, don’t make fun of me) doesn’t really like big hills. Don’t worry, I found some Gladys accessible trails and I can’t wait for you to get home so we can begin this adventure. While I was there I was also careful to observe the graffiti gang symbols everywhere. We need one of our own. Drugs are too cliché and someone even used an Egyptian eye. We’ll have to get creative. Something that represents us… a cupcake?...a butterfly?...we’ll consult later and figure it out.

This one's really nice.

            Now it’s time for one of my favorite games. Our readers deserve an update, but since our sole reader lives in Germany, I thought I’d use Google translate to help us. Then (for fun) we’re going to test Google translate to see how accurate they are.

Current events in English: We’re in a show called the “Underground Cellist”. We’ll be performing at a theater called the Grass Candy Dish (because it’s shaped like one and it’s covered in beautiful grass).

Translated to German: Wir sind in einer Show namens der U-Bahn-Cellist. Wir werden an einem Theater namens Grass Bonbonniere Durchführung werden (weil es wie ein geformt ist und es ist in der schönen Gras bewachsen). 
Then I translated it to Greek, then Gujarati, then back to English. It popped out at the end as: We show you the name of a subway cellist. We favor the application of a grass called theater, such as an overgrown and located in the beautiful grass-like shape, will.

Not too bad, Google Translate. I couldn’t have translated it that well by myself.

Love,

Rita

Dear Annabelle,

            It’s Wednesday. Someone hacked your facebook and is texting me back from your phone. You’ll be so mad at him/her when you get home.

Love,

Rita

P.S.You’re home?!?!?!

P.P.S. You’re now going somewhere else? Don’t forget insect repellant This is so complicated.

P.P.P.S. I can’t handle that cooking spray lady. I really need to vent about this problem to you but YOU’RE NOT HERE.

Dear Annabelle,

            It’s Thursday. I have no friends because you’re lost in the wilderness. Please don’t get eaten by badgers or my life will be significantly harder.

            I’m adding Saver’s to our summer bucket list. What do you say?

Love,

Rita

Dear Annabelle,

            It’s Friday. I think you’re back but I have yet to see you. So I’ll pretend like you’re still gone so I don’t have to face the fact that I REALLY don’t have friends even though the badgers didn’t get you.

            Peach is in a show called “Jose and the Super Cool Pastel Cardigan”…or something. He was recently cast as Jose’s youngest brother, Benito. Let’s go see it. Summer bucket list.

Love,

Rita