Friday, November 11, 2011

Mermaids


We’re mermaids. Mermaids are exceptions to No Shave November, as Annabelle kindly reminded me and our mermaid sisters last night in a text. Thanks Annabelle. King Triton is the exception to the mermaid exception.

Annabelle and I have a friend. She’s not a mermaid. But she’s pretty. She’s also pretty mean. But she is our friend anyway. We hate each other. Nevertheless, we invited her to post on our blog. Who knows if she ever will. She probably thinks she is too cool for us. Since she hasn’t yet come up with her code name, I will refer to her in this post as “her”. “Her” and I made a to-do list. We decided that if everyone listened to us and did things our way, they would be so much happier. I know, that’s Satan’s plan. We’re working on some revisions so it won’t be.

… (that’s a substitute Annabelle came up with for another individual who doesn’t have a code name)

... finally told me and “her” who ponytail girl is. Not who we were expecting. “Her” guessed who it was a long time ago, but … is a good liar and we trusted him when he denied it. For all we know, he could still be lying.

Dear “her”, I hope this is enough motivation for you to come up with a name for yourself. I’m sick of typing quotation marks when I refer to you. I also think you should post here sometime. We invited you because you are our friend, and your stalking skills exceeded my expectations. Join us.

Dear Annabelle, we need a better name for…

--Rita

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Epic Fail

It seems that Rita and I have had a hard time posting these past couple of months. I wish I could tell you that something epic has happened to us like we survived a natural disaster or something...wait. We did!! You see, once upon a time Rita and I were prostitutes. One day, while waiting to become ladies of the night, a major pipe burst. Suddenly water was everywhere and they had to shove all the members of the chain gang and prostitutes into one room. Everyone was crying and they started to bring wet, dripping belongings in to us. Once the flow of the water had slowed, we sang for lots of people. Then we went to Iceburg instead. I'd say that's a pretty decent trade for being a prostitute.

Rita and I obviously have failed at posting, but I feel a rededication to this blog coming on. Our most recent stalking escapade has been stalking people with ponytails. You see, we're trying to find .... a new secret love. Once upon a time he drew stick figures of all the girls he has secret crushes on. Each one had a different hairstyle but apparently "pony tail girl" is THE ONE. So obviously we have to find out who that is. If you aren't interested in having a man in love with you, don't wear a ponytail anytime soon.

So now it's November. No shave November. That's right. Apparently it's the season for Americans to become French. (French people don't shave..in case you didn't catch that.) Anyone can join in on this activity! Men, women, children, your dog, the list goes on! So...don't plan on shaving for the next month.

That's all I've got. Enjoy some facial hair pictures.




See more pics at http://lol.com.pk/2011/01/most-bizarre-beards-and-mustaches/